April 2012
20 posts
“… very ingenious. However, We must advise you that if you intend to call...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Yes, We are QUITE certain it is spelt “Canon Law” and NOT...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“And then My Lord Walshingham paused in his reading, bent over a page and STOP...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“This Rhum is quite potent - We feel it needs… something. Possibly...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Who wrote the word ‘tongue’ in front of ‘lashes’ in the...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“As the head of the Church of England, We hereby create and invest a new office:...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“When our sedan chair steps off, all porters SHALL step ON the same foot AT the...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Henceforth, courtly dances shall not, and never shall again, involve live squid!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“So Raleigh’s tobacco is as healthful as the lead used in Our cosmetics,...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We call this the Vanishing Aubergine feat!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Video et taceo
(16th Century “Don’t Ask - Don’t Tell”)”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“It is not that the Irish paint vulgar slogans on our fortresses… it is...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Thy Small Clothes are so small… henceforth We shall refer to them as Teeny...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“And so England once again wins the All Monarch Ferret-Legging Championship!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“The Scone of Stone has a hole drilled through’t, and no one can explain...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Head OF State, m’lord. Head OF State.”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Flattering though it may seem, it is not right to refer to ANYONE’s...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We shall note France’s preference in companions down as “not...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“The first of Our Court who can produce an orange, a humorous codpiece and the...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“No.. Nooo this is most definitely NOT Raleigh’s tobacco!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We shall have the entire garderobe gold-plated!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
March 2012
6 posts
“Oh. Knight with the FLAT side down. Oh dear. Please accept Our apologies....”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“It annoys Us that France looks better in Our petticoats than We do. No spankings...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Yes, we DID say we liked pearl necklaces. Why are you looking at Us in that...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Is THIS your card?”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“These boots were made for kicking Spanish arse!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
July 2009
29 posts
“We mixed gunpowder with Raleigh’s tobacco. Let us watch …. from over...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“You’ve won the “Who gets to pay for the Queen’s Dinner?”...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We commanded Dr. Dee to calculate the value of Pi last week. In a fortnight we...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“In the case of our Master of the Horse, “of” is an abbreviation for...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“‘Tis Christmas! Decorate the severed traitor’s heads with tinsel!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“More wood on the fire! We could cut glass with England’s nipples!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“… then he gave Us a lace kerchief embroidered with “Born to...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Walshingham knows the color of Our small clothes. “Matter of state...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Drake likes it when We talk like a pirate.”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Be it truly necessary for the ENTIRE court to Process when we go to the privy?”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We had something pierced - guess what?”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“If the Pope can annul a marriage, We as leader of the Anglican Church can annul...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We command you to go forth and mow Cornwall.”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“… then We had a tattoo upon our lower back which says “If thou canst...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Today we shall have a Knighting! And a spanking! And a Knight spanking!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Virgin Queen”… that doesn’t count boarding school chums,...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Lady Danvers gave Us Ipswitch for Our birthday. And we know not how to return...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Morris dancing is not all Will Kemp can do for nine days straight!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Paint Westminster blue for the springtime!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Horseback riding does not negate the whole “Virgin Queen” thing,...”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Our cousin Spain sent Us crotchless bloomers - the old letcher!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Heresy check! Hands up who’s Catholic!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“Today - the pink merkin!”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande
“We shall have “Stop Staring At England” tattooed on mine ankle.”
– HRH Elizabeth I, Queene of Englande